I feel a lot better now. But there would be times when I’m all alone in my room (especially during night time) and I really can’t help but contemplate on what happened last week. I really don’t consider it as a major heartbreak but still, I feel devastated. I’m always being fooled. Haha! I am indeed vulnerable. It has been proven and tested so many times in my 23 years of existence. I am not that hard to convince. I easily give my trust to persons I just met or knew. It’s my number one sickness. Tsk tsk tsk…
I’ve spent more than I should have last week L Kawawa ang savings ko… Buying stuffs and eating has been my diversion from depression. It’s either spending on food, stuff and going on salons or locking myself in a room and just let my tears wash away all the aches and frustrations that I’ve felt.
Love nga naman. Hahaha =)A four letter word that could either make or break our being. Love is not love if there’s no pain, that’s what they say. But if someone loves you, he/she would never do things that could hurt you. On the contrary, we are human and we are all susceptible to temptations. But (again, hehehe) according to Greg Behrendt, one of the authors of He’s Just Not That Into You (yeah you’re right, I’ve purchased a copy of his book just to make myself feel better), there are no excuses for cheating. Cheating is cheating. Cheating is hard only on the first try. It will make us feel guilty. But after that first attempt, it would be easier to cheat again. And someone who is into you will never do things that will make you feel bad, like cheating and lying.
Charge to experience. I keep on repeating this lines everytime I feel bad about what happened. Nagpakatanga na naman ako sa ngalan ng pag-ibig. I’m glad that I was able to handle the situation compared to my previous heartbreaks. I can say I’ve learned from the best teacher ever, syempre, EXPERIENCE. That’s why, CHARGE TO EXPERIENCE na lng lahat. Atleast, I became a part of his life. A very SIGNIFICANT part of his life. Still, I love him despite of his dishonesty. Despite of his imperfections. But I know that he will never be mine and this is one of the realities that are so damn hard to accept. He will never be mine. Someone else owns him. And I hope someday, he’ll find happiness in the arms of that person. And that he will never repeat whatever deceitfulness he has done to me to that person who truly loves him.
Thank you for making me stronger (you know who you are). J I know everything happens for a reason. I’ve learned so much from you. Thank you for accepting your fault. Time will heal the pain. The pain will make me stronger and wiser, not in only in love but in all aspect of my life.
Wohooo.. so sentimental! Hopeless romantic me… hehehehe =)
Before I end this mushy post of mine, I would like to share another line from Greg Behrendt’s He’s Just Not That Into You.
LOVE CURES COMMITMENT-PHOBIA.