Saturday, March 31, 2007

For the man who broke my heart months ago:

Why do you keep on bugging me? Can't you just get over what happened? I am happy for what I did. I am happy for getting even, though it's not a really victorious one. If you're in doubt about it, come over here and I'll show you how happy I am for moving on completely. I am a b*tch? Well, thank you for the compliment. Who do you call a loser? But I never was a loser and never will be. I pity your family, your good wife and your cute little daughter. You're so blessed. How about you? What do you call yourself? No matter how hard you try, you'll never win over me. I am good. I know I am. If I were you, stop fooling innocent young ladies out there. And stop texting me, you're just wasting your time and energy. Value and respect your family while they're still around you. You'll never know what you've got til it's gone. God bless. Thank you for coming into my life. You made me stronger.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Jack of All Trades, Master of None & Last Song Syndrome

That was I think 3 or 4 years ago, when Vince advised me to specialize in one field or skill so that I will not become a jack of all trades, master of none. I don’t know why up to know, what he said keeps on repeating on my head especially if I’m floating and dreaming of what I want to do in the next few months or years.

Summer of 2003, I was able to convince my mom to enroll me in an Adobe Photoshop class at Valderrama Science and Technology Institute. So there I was, learning and discovering the wonders that Adobe Photoshop can bring to an ordinary photo. But I’m not that serious with graphic designs and since then, I always felt so dull in terms of creating web and print graphics. What I mean, I felt that I lack creativity and I always envy Achi Aiai’s masterpieces. I didn’t take my PS class so seriously, I’ve learned maybe just 50% - 70% of the whole feature of the photo editing tool. During that time, we were being taught Visual Basic and Java at school. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I’m not very interested with all those head breaking programming codes. I know a little of those programming languages. Just a little. Basics maybe.

I just can’t make up my mind of what I really wanted to be before (or even until now?).

  • I’d like to be a web developer but I really hate programming. Hmmm… I’m not that patient. Ngaa nag MIS man ko man?
  • I also like to be graphic designer but I really felt that I lack creativity to really become a good one.
  • I wanted to be a preschool teacher. I love kids. But then, I haven’t taken up any Psychology subjects. (Now, I remembered years ago, Achi Aiai and I have plans to take up Psychology subjects so that we can apply as preschool teachers. Teh `chi? Dayonon ta pa na? hehehe)
  • I wanted to be a manager. Now this one may not be so hard I think. I just have to be patient. And I know I really have to work so hard to be able to reach this desired goal.
  • I wanted to be a simple office girl. With a lot of responsibilities to keep me busy always. This is what I am now. Just a simple office girl. J And I’m quite contented with my current position.

I’m still trying to figure out what I really wanted to do with my career. For now, I’m waiting for July to come so that I can celebrate my 1st anniversary of working with Waffle Time. I’ve decided to wait for my 1st anniversary before finalizing my career plans. I am still waiting what’s in store for me. I just hope I’ll get promotions or even just a salary increase. (Please pray for me friends. Please please please)

Back to work.

Currently playing – Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant & Haley Bennett


Last Song Syndrome. I've been singing this song over and over again since I 've watched Music and Lyrics last Saturday :) I really love the song :)

Way Back Into Love - OST Music and Lyrics

I’ve been living with a shadow, over head
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud, above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on
I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again somedayI
’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
I’ve been watching
But the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searchingB
But I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s gotta be something for my soul somewhere
I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you’ll help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I'm freeeeeeeeeee :)

Whew! Audit period is finally over :) and I can sleep well starting tonight. I'm so happy with the audit result. I don't have any cash shortages, cash over lang. Now, I need to monitor all our petty cash transactions carefully so that by the next audit period, there will be no cash discrepancy anymore. :)

I'm so happy! Really :)

And tomorrow, it's our branch's 2nd year anniversary! :) And last Saturday, March 24, was my 8th monthsary here in Waffle Time . Whew! This is what I call fulfillment. Hehehe... For those who can't relate why, just go here.

Gotta go. :) I'm very exhausted but happy :)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

What Really Makes The World Go Round? Love or Money?

Just a while ago, while on the road looking for computer shops with available Epson ink, our company driver opened a topic about relationships. If, for example, I have two boyfriends, boyfriend number 1 is rich but I don’t love that much and boyfriend number 2 is not that wealthy as the other one but I’m always happy with his company. Whom will I choose to stay with for the rest of my life? That was the question he wanted me to answer. “I don’t know, I’m not in that situation and I haven’t experienced that kind of situation ever since,” that’s what I replied to him.

Our company driver is getting married, that’s why he’s getting so emotional and sentimental lately. Teehee. He’s like the typical man that I really hate. He was able to have more than two girlfriends all at the same time. My gulay! Damu pa kamu da? But just last week I think, he broke up with all his other girlfriends and confessed to each one of them that he’s getting married. What the heck? Why do men love to be in this kind of situation? You would be lucky enough if you meet this kind of man, clearing things up before settling down. Because there are also some who pretends to be a happy-go-lucky-not-committed-man but holy cow he’s already tied to someone else for the rest of his life.

Going back to the main topic, our company driver answered his own question. He chose to be with the woman of his dreams whose not that stable in terms of financial position. He said he has this other girlfriend who wanted him to marry her. She’s got a regular job, financially speaking, she’s very stable. But he’s not that happy with her.

Hmmm.. In the middle of our conversation, I was able to make a title for my blog post for today. What really makes the world go round? Love? Or Money?

For some, money matters. They would justify it with the old gasgas line “matutunan ko rin syang mahalin”. Can love be really learned? What if you would never really fall for that person? Love can’t be forced. How long can one stay in a fake relationship? Fake because there’s no love existing. Maybe there is, but it’s what you call a one-sided relationship. There’s no give and take. What’s the essence of this kind of relationship? Only one gives and the other is just like a parasite, dependent on what the other gives. Pambansang martir ng Pilipinas ang taong bigay lng ng bigay. Lol.

I still go for a meaningful relationship. A relationship based on love, honesty and trust. I don’t want to live in a relationship full of pretensions and lies. I do hope I’d be able to meet someone who will be true inside out; someone who values and respect the real essence of commitment.

Now I know...

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!
When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...
And when you're down, your whole world is crashing
Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Bitter + Hatred = Revenge

All my friends would say I’m smart but when it comes to love, I’m such a big fool. Yes, I know I am. Sometimes, being fooled would lead me to depression and then bitterness, seeking for revenge. Why do guys love to lie? Why can’t they be contented with having just one woman in their lives (this doesn’t exempt married men)? I sought revenge. I’m happy I was able to get back at him. But sad because I know that it’s not good and I do feel a little bit guilty about it. But who cares? I really wanted to get back with him. I don’t want him to fool innocent young ladies out there. I’m good, I know I am. But I can be someone’s worst enemy if he/she had betrayed me. I get even. >:)

This has to stop. This will be the last revenge that I’ll ever make. But I really I feel good about what I just did.


Thursday, March 15, 2007

food trip + clean up project = happy me

This afternoon, one of my officemates jokingly suggested "mangaon ta, padeliver ta mcdo". Mangaon is a bisaya term for food trip. :) And even if I have a few bucks left that I've set aside for the next 5 days, I found myself giving in to their plea. :( I just can't resist it. So after 30 mins, here's what happened:

My tummy is happy :) hehehe... McDo's McChicken is my ultimate favorite!Ü But my pocket is empty :( What will I do now? Sin-o pwedeng magpautang? Hehehehe...

Now, because I'm full, I was able to clean my workstation with a happy face. My office table several weeks ago until yesterday used to look like this...

And just a few minutes ago, take a look at my newly cleaned office table :)

See what a full tummy can do :) Hehehehe :) And tomorrow will be a busy day. Our company's national accountant is here for audit. Whew! I will be in a hot seat for a couple of days. I'm quite anxious of what will be the result of the audit. Wish me luck guys. :)

I want to work with Google...

Read Joni's blog yesterday and I can't help but blog about it too... For now, I would just like to share this with you.

What do you think about it? :)

Geesh... I wish I could work there too... :)

Thursday, March 08, 2007

hopeless romantic me

Found this poem while browsing over my almost-forgotten-black-and-white website...

:) hehehe... Outlet of my heartaches and depression last summer of 2004.


you once said you'll catch me if i fall
maybe it was just a dream
a fairy tale that would never come true at all
sad but true

maybe it was my fault
taking you forgranted
but you must have forgotten
i did care for you

you made me believe
you'll never gonna leave me
you made me feel secured
you were someone i thought i'm gonna keep forever

maybe there's just no forever
maybe you just grew tired of me
maybe you found someone new

My sentimental side... wehehehe :D

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Instant Cup Noodles

Summer is here. Time passes by so fast. And I’m so happy I was able to finish my monthly reports on time. I thought I would consume the day today trying to finish my task. J I’m finally free and back to the normal routine. I have a lot of cleaning to do, not just here in my office table but also inside my room. Such a messy place I can’t believe I was able to sleep there. If you could only see my room, you’ll be shocked. Hehehe…

And my room is just like my life. It’s messy. I don’t know why I keep on calling my life messy. I’m just confused until now. I can’t decide on what to do next. I seemed to be lost. I’ve got a lot of ideas and plans that I just don’t know which will I do first. I was able to confide to a close friend yesterday about the dilemma that I’m currently facing. And I got struck with what she said. Life is not an instant cup noodles. I really know that I’ve got this attitude of being so aggressive and always on the rush. Sometimes, I tend to make decisions without even thinking of the consequences that will arise after. Not only sometimes, but most of the time. And I know this is one of the reasons why I always end up heartbroken, frustrated and disappointed. I keep on complaining that career growth and salary increase is way too slow and that I need to find another job wherein it could give me a higher compensation and a more promising and challenging profession. I took sometime to pause and think about what’s happening with my life right now. I realize then that I’m 70% closer to my goal. My goal of staying in a company for a year or more than a year would be even better. July is fast approaching. On July 24, I’d be celebrating my first anniversary of working with Waffle Time, Inc. Geesh… Fulfillment J hehehe (ang babaw ng kaligayahan ko!)

Life is indeed not an instant cup noodles. Just like what I’ve learned from the homily yesterday, there is no glory without sacrifice, no pleasure without pain, no resurrection without the way of the cross. During the mass, I was able to contemplate about what Achi Kitch and I had conversed earlier that afternoon. Achi Kitch and I both have the same goals right now. We need to save a lot of moolah to help our family and to start a small business when decide to come home for good. That is our ultimate goal for now. And we need to have enough patience and determination. I know we’ll get through all of these sticky situations. We just need to combine all our past experiences, may it be bad or good with a big amount of faith & prayers and not to forget patience and determination. I know we will succeed and no one can ever put us down. We just need to take things slowly but surely. We don’t need to rush things, we’re young and we have all the time in the world. And now I know that I need to repeat this line to myself everyday. I need to remind myself everyday that rushing things would not always guarantee a positive outcome.