I grew up with my Grandmom taking care of me. That's why our relatives and close friends are fond of calling me as a lola's girl. My Mama and Tatay got separated when I was three and I've been a witness to a civil war between my parents. They used to fought about my custody. Until the court decided that I should stay with my Mama. But the petty quarrels never stopped after the court decision. There would times that my Tatay would just suddenly appear at Mama's apartment and would take me with him somewhere. I can still remember I was alone playing, Mama and her boyfriend (yup, Mama lived with another man) went out. Tatay arrived and without even bothering to dress me up, he took me out to where he used to work. Almost all his co-workers are my godparents. There, they let me chose from a bag of toys. I was so happy then. Tatay took me home to Mama's apartment and he was so lucky because Mama and Tito weren't home yet. When Mama got home, she was surprised to see all my new set of toys *teeeheee* :)
Still the fight didn't cease. Until it reached the point that Mama doesn't want Tatay seeing me. She did everything to stop our communication, blocked all of Tatay's birthday and all other occassion cards. I was so bitter then when I found out about it ten years later when my father died. Yes, my father died when I was 13. And I haven't seen him for almost 10 years. There were a lot of questions bugging me. And I must admit, I really don't have a good relationship with my Mama eversince I was a kid. I used to hate her for having someone aside from my Tatay. Plus the idea that we don't live together in the same house. I lived with my GrandMom after the separation. But I've a scheduled day and time to be with my Mama because she's working and no one would take care of me if I live with her. I used to throw tantrums everytime I don't get what I want. I grew up being spoiled by Mama materially. I went to a prestigious school and almost every week, I have new toys. But that was not enough for me, I don't need all those material stuff, what I need is her company. That's when I started to move away from her. But hell yeah, I miss her so badly. Matampohin lang talaga ako.
I came from a broken family. But I was able to keep myself whole. And I owe everything to the ladies in my life. My Mama and my GrandMom. My light in the dark. My source of hope and strength. My life. Through thick and thin, they never gave up because they know that I look up to them. Despite all the crisis in our family, they managed to mold me from a spoiled brat into a fine young lady full of hopes and aspirations in life.
Now, everything is fine between me and Mama. She's not that expressive emotionally, that took me how many years to accept. I'm still struggling to build up an emotional bonding with my Mama by being expressive in letting her know and feel that I love her and GrandMom. This Mommy's Day, I asked a church friend to print the card that I've made and hand it to Mama and GrandMom during the 1st Mass together with a rose for each of them.
I am what I am today because of them. And I'm so blessed for having both of them in my life. They mean the world to me. To all the Moms out there, Happy Mommy's Day :)
1 comment:
aww.. it's sad to hear about you not seeing your dad. but sometimes we all go through different process in life... but in the end we can overcome it.. like you did.
It's so nice to have people who mold you into someone better.... and you sure are blessed.
Happy Mom's Day to your Mom and granma..
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